Least Literate English Major In The History Of English Majors

20 October 2008 by kiwanomelon

Modern Library’s 100 Best Novels (Board’s List)… A Decade Later

Let’s just say that I fare much better with the Reader’s List, as opposed to the stodgy Editors’ Board picks.  Honestly, how much Theodore Dreiser do I really need to read?  Then again, what kind of “Readers” select Ayn Rand and L. Ron Hubbard as the paragons of English literature?

Want to play along?
1. Copy the list on your blog.
2. Read through the list and mark the books you’ve read in bold.
3. Italicize any you started, but didn’t finish.
4. Underline the ones you loved.

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Don’t Be Fooled By This Brown Belt… I’m Actually Just An Orange Belt Who Was Generously Promoted Out Of Turn. Eight Times.

23 September 2008 by kiwanomelon

I would say that 25% of all my sparring matches or drills involve a full-force knee collision. This is a pretty atrocious record, particularly since I’m supposed to be of the level where I can anticipate when someone is THINKING about kicking, and throw a killer double roundhouse/jumping back kick combo before their central nervous system even sends out a “Leg, kick!” signal. Oops.

One of these days, I will master the art of timing my kicks. Until then, I’m going to practice walking without bending my right knee.

In Two Months and Eight Hours, We Will Be Sampling One Of The Best Tasting Menus IN THE WORLD!!

11 September 2008 by kiwanomelon

YAY!!!  I have a dinner reservation for The Fat Duck in Bray, England!!  I might have to abstain from the daily click marathon of the Momofuku Ko website today, because if I also landed a reservation there, I might explode with culinary joy.

OMG!  I did it!  After a dozen back-to-back calls to the UK reservation line, I finally got through, AND got exactly the meal time I wanted (7:00 p.m. on the 11th of November).  SO EXCITED!  Now we can spend the next sixty days drooling over the sample menus online.  I cannot wait!

Using Amazon Prime Is Even Faster Than Buying Things From A Real Store

10 September 2008 by kiwanomelon

I placed an order with Amazon.com yesterday, and took advantage of the free Amazon Prime express shipping trial.  I figured that since this was such a large order, and I was very excited about many of the new purchases, it might be fun to get them early.  Early is an understatement: I placed my order late yesterday afternoon, and I already had more than half of the items before noon today.  A girl could get used to this kind of service.

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I’m Glad They Didn’t Save This Single For Halloween, Even Though The Video Has Nothing To Do With July

29 July 2008 by kiwanomelon

I have Rihanna’s “Disturbia”–both the song and the video–stuck firmly in my head.  I don’t actually mind all that much, either.

It’s Been More Than 30 Days Since I Posted An Online Quiz? We Will Remedy That Immediately.

10 July 2008 by kiwanomelon

‘Ere we go ‘ere we go ‘ere we go…

1. Do you like blue cheese salad dressing?
I like very good quality blue cheese (Roquefort) on my salad or on its own, but not necessarily as the dressing itself.

2. Have you ever smoked heroin?
I don’t even think I’ve ever even seen any heroin.

3. Do you own a gun?
No, but I am certainly not opposed to owning one. I would like to learn how to shoot, and if I was any good at it, I’d take up the biathlon.

4. Your favorite drink at Starbucks or other specialty?
I just developed a bad Starbucks habit in the past three weeks. I rotate between their iced coffee (grande, half-caff, taken black), soy chai latte, and occasionally a Frappucino (but spare me the lecture: I treat it like a dessert, not a drink).

5. Do you get nervous before doctors’ appointments?
Only dental appointments. Which makes perfect sense, given the number of teeth I’ve had extracted so far. I associate the dentist with pliars, x-rays, and that godawful gunk they use to take impressions of my mouth that always always always makes me puke.

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I Have Glimpsed My True Inner Soul, And It Looked Back At Me Like An Angry T-Rex

7 July 2008 by kiwanomelon

I just learned that one of my close friends gets the exact opposite result that I do after taking the Myers-Briggs analysis.  There is a different and specific relationship between each personality type, and I couldn’t remember how they described the phenomenon of opposites, so naturally I turned to the internet for the forgotten answer.  En route to confirming that Jamie is my Anima (not enema), I got distracted and found a list of Adjectives That Describe INTJs… and we all know how much I love lists.  This one is pretty bang-on, and I found myself nodding in agreement after pretty much every comma (except “does not think they are weird but others do,” since I know full well that I am a Special Person, and “familiar with darkside,” because I am not a Sith lord.  Yet.)

loner, more interested in intellectual pursuits than relationships or family, not very altruistic, not very complimentary, would rather be friendless than jobless, observer, values solitude, perfectionist, detached, private, not much fun, hidden, skeptical, does not tend to like most people, socially uncomfortable, not physically affectionate, unhappy, does not talk about feelings, hard to impress, analytical, likes esoteric things, tends to be pessimistic, not spontaneous, prone to discontentment, guarded, does not think they are weird but others do, responsible, can be insensitive or ambivalent to the misfortunes of others, orderly, clean, organized, familiar with darkside, tends not to value organized religion, suspicious of others, can be lonely, rarely shows anger, punctual, finisher, prepared

And now, after that mess of lowercase and commas, a sentence with Capital Letters and a full stop.

Step 1: Make Muffins. Step 2: Eat Muffins. Step 3: Run Off Muffin Top.

6 July 2008 by kiwanomelon

Rhubarb is one of my favorite foods. It’s tragically under-utilized, and even on the chichi epicurean websites I frequent, there are too few recipes devoted to this wonderful edible. I am always thrilled when I see rhubarb on a restaurant menu (my last visit to Marseille was selfishly timed to coincide with the reappearance of rhubarb and pistachio panna cotta on their dessert list), and even more excited when it shows up unannounced (as at Les Halles with Mom last week, when I was delighted to find chopped rhubarb in our appetizer, Vol-au-vent aux champignons sauvages et salsifis).

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New Year’s Resolutions? Oh, Yeah, Those…

17 June 2008 by kiwanomelon

It’s been nearly six months since New Year’s… and in typical INTJ fashion, I have not forgotten about those pesky Resolutions.

  1. Lose inches
    Since committing to a strict diet about a month ago, I have already lost about 10 pounds, and continue to shed weight by the week.  I can finally fit back into the clothes I wore when I first interviewed in the big city; in fact, they’re actually a bit large now.  Logging everything I eat in a public online profile has made me accountable for my nutrition decisions; knowing that anyone and everyone will know that I had six Oreos for dinner makes me think twice about eating garbage.

    I’m most proud of how I’ve stepped up my fitness routine, however.  Realizing that I averaged just two taekwondo classes per week during my first year and a half with my school, I made a vow in February to start attending every class I could, only skipping when I absolutely had to work late and couldn’t make it back home in time.  As part of that, I even go to class on Saturdays now.  The extra practice is paying off: at the last promotion test, Master Song commented that I had improved since the last time he saw me!  Last but not least, joining the New York Road Runners made my goal of running the NYC Marathon a lot more tangible and real, and incorporating running into my life has probably been my favorite accomplishment so far this year.

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What Happens After You Optimize? Re-Optimization, Of Course.

12 June 2008 by kiwanomelon

INTJ Strengths

  • Not threatened by conflict or criticism
  • Usually self-confident
  • Take their relationships and commitments seriously
  • Generally extremely intelligent and capable
  • Able to leave a relationship which should be ended, although they may dwell on it in their minds for awhile afterwards
  • Interested in “optimizing” their relationships
  • Good listeners

INTJ Weaknesses

  • Not naturally in tune with others feelings; may be insensitive at times
  • May tend to respond to conflict with logic and reason, rather than the desired emotional support
  • Not naturally good at expressing feelings and affections
  • Tendency to believe that they’re always right
  • Tendency to be unwilling or unable to accept blame
  • Their constant quest to improve everything may be taxing on relationships
  • Tend to hold back part of themselves

Wow, does that describe me or what?  Only two slight modifications:

  1. Move purported “Weaknesses” to “Strengths” section.  Since when is the quest for perfection a weakness? If you disagree, come a little closer and taste my perfect sidekick.
  2. Believe it or not, I have been known to accept blame.  I mean, I’m rarely wrong, but if I am, I’ll admit it, since you have to fix mistakes in order to achieve perfection.

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