Least Literate English Major In The History Of English Majors

Modern Library’s 100 Best Novels (Board’s List)… A Decade Later

Let’s just say that I fare much better with the Reader’s List, as opposed to the stodgy Editors’ Board picks.  Honestly, how much Theodore Dreiser do I really need to read?  Then again, what kind of “Readers” select Ayn Rand and L. Ron Hubbard as the paragons of English literature?

Want to play along?
1. Copy the list on your blog.
2. Read through the list and mark the books you’ve read in bold.
3. Italicize any you started, but didn’t finish.
4. Underline the ones you loved.

Using Amazon Prime Is Even Faster Than Buying Things From A Real Store

I placed an order with Amazon.com yesterday, and took advantage of the free Amazon Prime express shipping trial.  I figured that since this was such a large order, and I was very excited about many of the new purchases, it might be fun to get them early.  Early is an understatement: I placed my order late yesterday afternoon, and I already had more than half of the items before noon today.  A girl could get used to this kind of service.

New Year’s Resolutions? Oh, Yeah, Those…

It’s been nearly six months since New Year’s… and in typical INTJ fashion, I have not forgotten about those pesky Resolutions.

1. Lose inches. 
   Since committing to a strict diet about a month ago, I have already lost about 10 pounds, and continue to shed weight by the week.  I can finally fit back into the clothes I wore when I first interviewed in the big city; in fact, they’re actually a bit large now.  Logging everything I eat in a public online profile has made me accountable for my nutrition decisions; knowing that anyone and everyone will know that I had six Oreos for dinner makes me think twice about eating garbage.

   I’m most proud of how I’ve stepped up my fitness routine, however.  Realizing that I averaged just two taekwondo classes per week during my first year and a half with my school, I made a vow in February to start attending every class I could, only skipping when I absolutely had to work late and couldn’t make it back home in time.  As part of that, I even go to class on Saturdays now.  The extra practice is paying off: at the last promotion test, Master Song commented that I had improved since the last time he saw me!  Last but not least, joining the New York Road Runners made my goal of running the NYC Marathon a lot more tangible and real, and incorporating running into my life has probably been my favorite accomplishment so far this year.

Marathon Training Officially Starts Now

I (finally) joined the NYC Road Runners club!  Unfortunately, I didn’t become a member in time to guarantee entry into the 2009 NYC marathon.  Had I read the webpage more thoroughly last November (when I first decided that I wanted to run the NYC marathon), I would’ve signed up by the end of January, and would’ve been eligible to run next year.  Ah, well.  We’ll see how training goes, and if I feel like I’m ready in 2009, I can run a marathon in a different city, and then do NYC in 2010.  I would take my chances with the lottery, but we all know what kind of luck I have.

In the meantime, I’m going to check out some of the NYRR running clinics, so I can perfect my form and learn to run without getting these damn shin splints.  Being a member also means that I can participate in a variety of shorter races throughout the year.  I hope they have something in mid-July… being able to run a 5K would be a great birthday present to myself!

*Excited!*

Everyone Else Is Doing It So Maybe I Should Too

2008 Resolutions

1. Lose inches.  (I don’t think you’re allowed to make a list of resolutions without some varient of “lose weight”.)  Mostly I blame taekwondo for the whole not-fitting-into-my-clothes thing, but I also wag my finger at full-time employment, and the omnipresent copies of Gourmet and Bon Appetit magazines piled on my desk; their consistantly delicious-looking cover photography inspires undeniable saturated fat cravings.  It’s not so much that I need to lose weight–indeed, my goal is just to convert all body fat into lean muscle, which actually weighs more–but I need to trim down the ridiculous bulk I’ve developed.  I can no longer find boots that zip beyond my calves or suit jackets that don’t render my arms immobile sausages.  I can’t even fit into the clothes I wore to my job interview two years ago.
2. Devise a better strategy for keeping in touch with everyone.  I would love to be able to chat with friends and family members more regularly.  I think about all of you often, but I am going to work on taking action (writing an e-mail or sending a text message or calling) instead of just letting the thought pass.  I’m toying with the idea of a weekly mass e-mail or setting aside one night a week for phone calls.
3. Incorporate more vegetables and healthy protein (read: not steak tartar or cheeseburgers) into my diet.  This goes hand-in-hand with the “lose inches” resolution, but I want to call it out separately so that I’ll be sure to finally seek out that elusive recipe that uses lentils but actually tastes good.
4. Save enough to cover moving expenses.  Even if I don’t decide to move this year, I want to be ready with the security deposit/realtor’s fee/moving costs when the perfect two bedroom becomes available.  I’ve got my heart set on having a kitchen (with a dishwasher!) that opens into a living room, a real bedroom, and a cute study that can double as a spare bedroom.
5. Take my black belt exam proudly and competently.  By September, I’d like to be able to throw all my basic kicks with accuracy, power, and speed, refine my breaking techniques so that I can confidently nail the boards on my first or second attempt, and be a tougher (but controlled) sparring opponent. 

How Very Lower-East-Side/Germantown Of Me

I bought a giant pickle from the barrel in the grocery store tonight. I’m pretty excited to have a slice of it for lunch tomorrow. Someday, in addition to the indoor grill, the Turbochef speedcook oven (in Hearth Orange), and the floor-to-ceiling eel tank (hey, I like unagi don), my kitchen will have a pickle barrel. Yum.

Translators Are Literary Celebrities, Too

In the past few months, I’ve rediscovered books.  (Imagine that–an English major reading!)  After mowing through the pile of books I’d purchased over the years but never cracked open, I began asking friends for recommendations, going out and buying those books, and then actually reading them (…not just starting and abandoning them).

In the past few weeks, I got it into my head that I should read War and Peace.  I somehow managed to get through high school and then college without being required to read many of the “great classics.”  No Faulkner, no Tolstoy, no Dostoevsky, no Joyce.  Now, with no small amount of guilt, I plan to make up for this oversight.  Having read good things (in both The New York Times and Time magazine) about the brand new translation of War of Peace, I trekked down to The Strand last night in order to pick up a copy, along with as many other “must reads” as I could carry home.  (Which, obviously, was not very many.  War and Peace is, shall we say, “hefty.”)

What luck, though!  It turns out that the translators–Larissa Volokhonsky and Richard Pevear–were actually at the bookstore giving a lecture, and I was only a little late!  Not only did I get the book I came for, but I got it signed and personalized!  And, of course, caught the tail end of a discussion about the challenges of translating such a dense and canonical text.  I am very excited.  Although I do realize that only hardcore nerds get excited about standing in line to get a couple of translators to autograph a 1,000+ page book.

There’s A Little Entreprenuerial Spirit In All Of Us

I think it’s good to have some good catchy names on hand in case I ever decide to start my own business. Gotta stand out in the yellow pages, after all.

Sara’s Limb Removal: “You Name It, I Maim It”

That’s all I have for now, but I’m sure I’ll come up with more.

Once Again, I Can Sit At The Elitist Kids’ Table

Dear Mensa,

I renewed my membership today with the anticipation that you will offer me many entertaining NYC-based events and fun, non-threatening opportunities to meet interesting, non-stalker people under the age of 65.  I have no real reason to expect this, given my first encounters with your organization years ago, but I’m a lot more desperate to make new friends this time.  Also, your newsletter appears to be less racist, so I am hoping this reflects some kind of change for the better.

Thank you,

Sara

Nobody Puts OJ In A Corner. And By Corner, I Mean A Random Newscorp-Owned Cable Station.

The OJ Simpson special was (tragically) cancelled, after FOX was unable to find advertisers willing to run spots during the show.

This makes me sad, because I feel like it could’ve be a real opportunity for a random product to brand the hell out of something. Think about it. If you were a life insurance firm, a door-to-door cutlery sales company, or maybe even a new cartoon-offshoot novelty candy, you would get some serious word-of-mouth coverage afterwards, just by running about twelve ads in and around this disaster of an interview. For added impact, you could go overboard and sponsor the closed captions, pay for in-show scrolling banners, and negotiate other original ways to make sure your brand name was constantly visible on FOX for about one and a half hours.

If I had my own company (preferably one with an unlimited media budget and high tolerance for erratic behavior), I would’ve swiped all the ads FOX was offering ina  last-minute fire sale, and turned that full sponsorship into something so overblown and ridiculous that people would be unable to resist talking about how insane it was.  You just wait–one day, there will be a company that does something as idiotic as this suggestion, and it will work for them.  And then we will all look back at this prophetic entry and hail me as the visionary that I know I am.