Don’t Be Fooled By This Brown Belt… I’m Actually Just An Orange Belt Who Was Generously Promoted Out Of Turn. Eight Times.

I would say that 25% of all my sparring matches or drills involve a full-force knee collision. This is a pretty atrocious record, particularly since I’m supposed to be of the level where I can anticipate when someone is THINKING about kicking, and throw a killer double roundhouse/jumping back kick combo before their central nervous system even sends out a “Leg, kick!” signal. Oops.

One of these days, I will master the art of timing my kicks. Until then, I’m going to practice walking without bending my right knee.

In Two Months and Eight Hours, We Will Be Sampling One Of The Best Tasting Menus IN THE WORLD!!

YAY!!!  I have a dinner reservation for The Fat Duck in Bray, England!!  I might have to abstain from the daily click marathon of the Momofuku Ko website today, because if I also landed a reservation there, I might explode with culinary joy.

OMG!  I did it!  After a dozen back-to-back calls to the UK reservation line, I finally got through, AND got exactly the meal time I wanted (7:00 p.m. on the 11th of November).  SO EXCITED!  Now we can spend the next sixty days drooling over the sample menus online.  I cannot wait!

Step 1: Make Muffins. Step 2: Eat Muffins. Step 3: Run Off Muffin Top.

Rhubarb is one of my favorite foods. It’s tragically under-utilized, and even on the chichi epicurean websites I frequent, there are too few recipes devoted to this wonderful edible. I am always thrilled when I see rhubarb on a restaurant menu (my last visit to Marseille was selfishly timed to coincide with the reappearance of rhubarb and pistachio panna cotta on their dessert list), and even more excited when it shows up unannounced (as at Les Halles with Mom last week, when I was delighted to find chopped rhubarb in our appetizer, Vol-au-vent aux champignons sauvages et salsifis).

New Year’s Resolutions? Oh, Yeah, Those…

It’s been nearly six months since New Year’s… and in typical INTJ fashion, I have not forgotten about those pesky Resolutions.

1. Lose inches. 
   Since committing to a strict diet about a month ago, I have already lost about 10 pounds, and continue to shed weight by the week.  I can finally fit back into the clothes I wore when I first interviewed in the big city; in fact, they’re actually a bit large now.  Logging everything I eat in a public online profile has made me accountable for my nutrition decisions; knowing that anyone and everyone will know that I had six Oreos for dinner makes me think twice about eating garbage.

   I’m most proud of how I’ve stepped up my fitness routine, however.  Realizing that I averaged just two taekwondo classes per week during my first year and a half with my school, I made a vow in February to start attending every class I could, only skipping when I absolutely had to work late and couldn’t make it back home in time.  As part of that, I even go to class on Saturdays now.  The extra practice is paying off: at the last promotion test, Master Song commented that I had improved since the last time he saw me!  Last but not least, joining the New York Road Runners made my goal of running the NYC Marathon a lot more tangible and real, and incorporating running into my life has probably been my favorite accomplishment so far this year.

What Happens After You Optimize? Re-Optimization, Of Course.

INTJ Strengths

• Not threatened by conflict or criticism
• Usually self-confident
• Take their relationships and commitments seriously
• Generally extremely intelligent and capable
• Able to leave a relationship which should be ended, although they may dwell on it in their minds for awhile afterwards
• Interested in “optimizing” their relationships
• Good listeners

INTJ Weaknesses

• Not naturally in tune with others feelings; may be insensitive at times
• May tend to respond to conflict with logic and reason, rather than the desired emotional support
• Not naturally good at expressing feelings and affections
• Tendency to believe that they’re always right
• Tendency to be unwilling or unable to accept blame
• Their constant quest to improve everything may be taxing on relationships
• Tend to hold back part of themselves

Wow, does that describe me or what?  Only two slight modifications:

1. Move purported “Weaknesses” to “Strengths” section.  Since when is the quest for perfection a weakness? If you disagree, come a little closer and taste my perfect sidekick.
2. Believe it or not, I have been known to accept blame.  I mean, I’m rarely wrong, but if I am, I’ll admit it, since you have to fix mistakes in order to achieve perfection.

As Long As This Ice Doesn’t Melt / I Know I’ll Stay Alive

It is soul-crushingly hot in NYC.  Even in the shade, it’s unbearable.  I have never enjoyed summer weather (or any weather that is not snow), but days like this underscore exactly why heat is so commonly used as a metaphor for anger.  Best of all, at night when it “cools down” to the mid-80s (with 50% relative humidity), it’s still hot enough to merit a local heat advisory and keep me from my favorite anger outlet: a three-mile run through my neighborhood.  I cannot WAIT until this wave passes and I can start training again.

In the meantime, this is how I am coping:

1. Grande half-caff iced coffee, taken black. 
   Con: It will vaporize within 4 blocks unless you suck it down really, really fast.
   Pro: That momentary brain freeze will feel euphoric.
2. Aveeno Continuous Protection Sunblock Spray, 70 SPF.
   Pro: Honestly the best sunscreen I’ve come across in a while; very light, easy to apply, not greasy or irritating, and odorless.
   Con: Since I can’t see or feel it on my skin, I’m not sure how to confirm my suspicion that it just melts off my skin as soon as I step into direct sunlight.

I Am, Like, So Totally California

Disclaimer: I STILL have never been to California.  (This may be remedied as soon as July or August, when I am tentatively planning a trip out to the Left Coast.  In my dreams, I fly out to Seattle to visit Jess #1, and then spend an awesome week on a rented motorcycle, driving down the coast towards LA–via Portland and the Northern California redwood forests and the San Francisco Zoo–to visit Jess #2.)  In any case, though, you came here for a quality story based on actual real-life events, not a list of my vague summer plans.  So, onward.

I first read about the existence of date shakes in National Geographic.  They had an illustrated sidebar about regional American food specialties, and I noticed that in addition to a variety of foodstuffs I was intimately familiar with (Beef on Weck, Coffeemilk, Kringle), there were some peculiar delights I had not tried.  One of those was a California treat, the date shake.

I’m not really sure what else besides sitting in front of this pinned-up article for more than eight hours a day inspired me to actually make my own date shake this week, but I decided I had a craving for one.  In fact, I’d never actually eaten a date prior to this week.  Mom would occasionally bake date bread for Grandpa on Father’s Day or his birthday, but I am pretty sure I never ate any of that.*

Based on some half-hearted Googling and a quick search on Seamless Web, I determined that there were really no reliable date shake vendors in NYC (kind of surprising, actually, given how many other California trends seem to get imported).  Instead, the minute I finished up at work, I booked it to Whole Foods to pick up vanilla protein powder (thick and frothy without the saturated fat of ice cream) and dates, which were not available fresh, to my chagrin.  (Not that I would really appreciate the difference at this point… I just heard the fresh ones were good.)  I settled for the dried, pitted variety, billed on the plastic container as “Nature’s Candy.”  This was a promising slogan.

After Red-Belt-With-Black-Stripe Comes The Coffee Belt

I am (finally) taking my brown belt test this evening, after postponing it three times.  I’ve been running through Taegeuk 8 in my head since I got up this morning (no, really, I was half-practicing it during my commute).  However, still operating on a sleep deficit since my flight back from Madison on Monday, I could not resist the strong lure of Starbucks when I went out for a walk this afternoon, and sucked down a Venti-sized beverage during the post-lunch lull.

My mistake?  Not opting for decaf.  Now I have a serious case of the shakes.  I am WIRED beyond control, and my hands are very obviously vibrating.  If anyone has a secret (besides a blood transfusion) that will get my caffeine level down to a reasonable place in the next 3 hours, I would love to know it.  Otherwise, let’s just say I’ll be shaking things up at this test.

Ironically, they like to remind us that the color of our belt (they get progressively darker as you advance in rank) represents all that we’ve put into our training and ourselves.  Indeed.

If You Make Fun Of My Plastic Trophy, I Will Kick Your Ass, Too

As of last week, I’ve been doing taekwondo for two years. I really like my school because we’ve had great instructors who push us hard, but in a friendly and often less-structured way. Generally, I have a lot of fun at practice, even when we’re working through brutal drills. Some of the other chains are a lot stricter, with more military-style classes, and very firm start and end times. I realize that’s probably a better system, especially when you’re learning dangerous techniques, but since taekwondo is more “hobby” than “life” for me, I think my dojang is the perfect fit.

During these past 730 days, as I worked my way up from horrifically out-of-shape white belt (seriously, for my trial lesson, I was unable to do one sit-up) to red-belt-with-stripe-and-promotion tape (my brown belt test is this Friday), I refused all invitations to attend tournament events. A tournament represented a wildly unpredictable day of fighting overly-committed people who were more than willing to sacrifice their body (and mine) for a prefab plastic trophy. I knew that I’d be putting myself at risk for serious ankle injuries (or, more devastating to me, a broken wrist), so I stayed far, far away.

However, it was announced about a week and a half ago that if we expected to get our black belts, we HAD to attend at least one tournament. As the days wore on that week, “one” became “two to three” and, by Friday, “three to five.” I made the mistake of mentioning that I wasn’t planning on going to the upcoming event, at which point I was promptly recommended, and handed a registration form. I saw no way out, so I decided to give it a shot.

Marathon Training Officially Starts Now

I (finally) joined the NYC Road Runners club!  Unfortunately, I didn’t become a member in time to guarantee entry into the 2009 NYC marathon.  Had I read the webpage more thoroughly last November (when I first decided that I wanted to run the NYC marathon), I would’ve signed up by the end of January, and would’ve been eligible to run next year.  Ah, well.  We’ll see how training goes, and if I feel like I’m ready in 2009, I can run a marathon in a different city, and then do NYC in 2010.  I would take my chances with the lottery, but we all know what kind of luck I have.

In the meantime, I’m going to check out some of the NYRR running clinics, so I can perfect my form and learn to run without getting these damn shin splints.  Being a member also means that I can participate in a variety of shorter races throughout the year.  I hope they have something in mid-July… being able to run a 5K would be a great birthday present to myself!

*Excited!*